The Teaching Philosophy I Can't Write

One of my blog besties has asked me/us to participate in a Teaching Philosophy Meme. With tongue-in-cheek, here I go:

Dear Reader:

My teaching philosophy is a dynamic, living concept. It changes according to the audience for whom it is written. So, the first thing you have to ask yourself, dear reader, is what type of audience are you?

If you are from a flagship R1 whose job description clearly signals more interest in my research agenda than my teaching portfolio (for better and for worse), then my teaching philosophy will be about a page shorter than other versions and will do its best to articulate connections between how I teach and what I research. Sure, there will be the obligatory nods to "fostering" such skills as critical thinking, collaborative learning, creative reasoning and, now in the twenty-first century, recognizing a place for new technologies in the classroom. But my philosophy will always hark back, in some seamless yet strategic fashion, to my research agenda. The agenda that will land me a book contract, which is the only way I will be able to teach at your institution. It will strive to remind you that I am a good teacher and an excellent scholar-in-the-making.

If you are reading my teaching philosophy from a non-R1 institution whose tenure and promotion requirements skew more towards excellence-in-teaching and whose mission statement really does mean what it says about the importance of a liberal arts undergraduate education, then you can bet that my teaching philosophy will be a) a bit longer than the previous one and b) fleshed out with concrete examples of actual assignments and real-life teaching moments that best reflect whatever it is I am saying to you, at this moment, about my pedagogy.

Which will be easier and more pleasurable to write? Probably the second one. Audience, baby.

Sorry, Sis, I just can't bring myself to write an actual teaching philosophy. But, at the same time, I wanted to express support for your writing endeavor by recognizing your meme in the blogosphere. Good luck with that. Your awesomeness far exceeds any teaching philosophy, IMHO.