Meet Your College First-Years

For those of you getting back into the classroom, courtesy of Beloit College of course:

The Mindset List for the Class of 2015

Andre the Giant, River Phoenix, Frank Zappa, Arthur Ashe and the Commodore 64 have always been dead.

Their classmates could include Taylor Momsen, Angus Jones, Howard Stern's daughter Ashley, and the Dilley Sextuplets.

1. There has always been an Internet ramp onto the information highway.
2. Ferris Bueller and Sloane Peterson could be their parents.
3. States and Velcro parents have always been requiring that they wear their bike helmets.
4. The only significant labor disputes in their lifetimes have been in major league sports.
5. There have nearly always been at least two women on the Supreme Court, and women have always commanded U.S. Navy ships.
6. They “swipe” cards, not merchandise.
7. As they’ve grown up on websites and cell phones, adult experts have constantly fretted about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration.
8. Their school’s “blackboards” have always been getting smarter.
9. “Don’t touch that dial!”….what dial?
10. American tax forms have always been available in Spanish.
11. More Americans have always traveled to Latin America than to Europe.
12. Amazon has never been just a river in South America.
13. Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you're talking about LeBron James.
14. All their lives, Whitney Houston has always been declaring “I Will Always Love You.”
15. O.J. Simpson has always been looking for the killers of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman.
16. Women have never been too old to have children.
17. Japan has always been importing rice.
18. Jim Carrey has always been bigger than a pet detective.
19. We have never asked, and they have never had to tell.
20. Life has always been like a box of chocolates.
21. They’ve always gone to school with Mohammed and Jesus.
22. John Wayne Bobbitt has always slept with one eye open.
23. The Communist Party has never been the official political party in Russia.
24. “Yadda, yadda, yadda” has always come in handy to make long stories short.
25. Video games have always had ratings.
26. Chicken soup has always been soul food.
27. The Rocky Horror Picture Show has always been available on TV.
28. Jimmy Carter has always been a smiling elderly man who shows up on TV to promote fair elections and disaster relief.
29. Arnold Palmer has always been a drink.
30. Dial-up is soooooooooo last century!
31. Women have always been kissing women on television.
32. Their older siblings have told them about the days when Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera were Mouseketeers.
33. Most have grown up with a faux Christmas Tree in the house at the holidays.
34. They’ve always been able to dismiss boring old ideas with “been there, done that, gotten the T-shirt.”
35. The bloody conflict between the government and a religious cult has always made Waco sound a little whacko.
36. Unlike their older siblings, they spent bedtime on their backs until they learned to roll over.
37. Music has always been available via free downloads.
38. Grown-ups have always been arguing about health care policy.
39. Moderate amounts of red wine and baby aspirin have always been thought good for the heart.
40. Sears has never sold anything out of a Big Book that could also serve as a doorstop.
41. The United States has always been shedding fur.
42. Electric cars have always been humming in relative silence on the road.
43. No longer known for just gambling and quickie divorces, Nevada has always been one of the fastest growing states in the Union.
44. They’re the first generation to grow up hearing about the dangerous overuse of antibiotics.
45. They pressured their parents to take them to Taco Bell or Burger King to get free pogs.
46. Russian courts have always had juries.
47. No state has ever failed to observe Martin Luther King Day.
48. While they’ve been playing outside, their parents have always worried about nasty new bugs borne by birds and mosquitoes.
49. Public schools have always made space available for advertising.
50. Some of them have been inspired to actually cook by watching the Food Channel.
51. Fidel Castro’s daughter and granddaughter have always lived in the United States.
52. Their parents have always been able to create a will and other legal documents online.
53. Charter schools have always been an alternative.
54. They’ve grown up with George Stephanopoulos as the Dick Clark of political analysts.
55. New Kids have always been known as NKOTB.
56. They’ve always wanted to be like Shaq or Kobe: Michael Who?
57. They’ve often broken up with their significant others via texting, Facebook, or MySpace.
58. Their parents sort of remember Woolworths as this store that used to be downtown. 
59. Kim Jong-il has always been bluffing, but the West has always had to take him seriously.
60. Frasier, Sam, Woody and Rebecca have never Cheerfully frequented a bar in Boston during primetime.
61. Major League Baseball has never had fewer than three divisions and never lacked a wild card entry in the playoffs.
62. Nurses have always been in short supply.
63. They won’t go near a retailer that lacks a website.
64. Altar girls have never been a big deal.
65. When they were 3, their parents may have battled other parents in toy stores to buy them a Tickle Me Elmo while they lasted.
66. It seems the United States has always been looking for an acceptable means of capital execution.
67. Folks in Hanoi and Ho Chi Minh City have always been able to energize with Pepsi Cola.
68. Andy Warhol is a museum in Pittsburgh.
69. They’ve grown up hearing about suspiciously vanishing frogs.
70. They’ve always had the privilege of talking with a chatterbot.
71. Refugees and prisoners have always been housed by the U.S. government at Guantanamo.
72. Women have always been Venusians; men, Martians.
73. McDonalds coffee has always been just a little too hot to handle.
74. “PC” has come to mean Personal Computer, not Political Correctness.
75. The New York Times and the Boston Globe have never been rival newspapers.

On writing

One of the things I love to read about is what writers (I admire) have to say about, well, writing.  I'm not drawn to the loftier statements -- "writing as a way to stave off insanity" for instance -- but to the practice of writing.  The routine of it all.  Their routine, actually.  So I've decided to document things I read about on this here blog, which is where I myself tend to write about, well, writing.  Or not writing, as is often the case with me.


Last night I finished Jennifer Egan's latest novel and, in my ensuing obsession with her (and she really is wonderful) I stumbled across this interview, most of which concerns her talking about, well, writing.

My advice is so basic. Number one: Read. I feel like it’s amazing how many people I know who want to be writers who don’t really read. I’m not convinced someone wants to be a writer if they don’t read. I don’t think the problem is that they need to read more; I think they might need to readjust their life goals. Reading is the nourishment that lets you do interesting work. To be reading good things. I feel that you should be reading what you want to write. Nothing less.

The second thing is, I feel like getting in the habit of it is huge. I guess that was my one accomplishment of those two years [with the first failed novel]— making it a routine is a gigantic part of it.

One corollary of that— and this is probably the most important thing for me— is being willing to write really badly. It won’t hurt you to do that. I think there is this fear of writing badly, something primal about it, like: “This bad stuff is coming out of me…” Forget it! Let it float away and the good stuff follows. For me, the bad beginning is just something to build on. It’s no big deal. You have to give yourself permission to do that because you can’t expect to write regularly and always write well. That’s when people get into the habit of waiting for the good moments, and that is where I think writer’s block comes from. Like: It’s not happening. Well, maybe good writing isn’t happening, but let some bad writing happen. Let it happen!

Zebra

When Beach House's Teen Dream came out last year I listened to it on repeat for probably about two weeks straight.  Today, for some reason, this song has been on repeat in my head.  So, whatever.  Here you go.  Enjoy:

Advice Needed

I'm teaching a new writing class this fall, an introductory "Writing about Literature" course, that I don't normally teach at Crunchyville U.  While I do teach writing in all of my classes to varying degrees, I don't teach at the 200-level, which typically involves "training" our students before they get into the more topic-oriented speciality classes at the 300- and 400 level.

So.

Should I teach the writing course using books from my regular courses, making the course easier for me because I truly know these books? In this scenario, I'm just designing a writing curriculum around books I have deep knowledge of so in terms of presenting the material (mini-lectures, discussion questions etc.) I'm pretty much set.  The advantage of this scenario is obvious: it won't require as much work. Period.

Or...

Should I choose new books, books I want to read anyway but don't have the time, and go from there?  In this scenario the prep is all around new because these are books I haven't even read myself.  The benefit to this scenario, though, is that I'll be reading fun contemporary stuff.  The disadvantage is it will mean more work for me.

This might inform your answer:  I need to work hard on a book chapter in the fall.

So?

RBOC Summer Edition

It's been a while since I've done this, so here goes it:

• Bump learned how to ride a bicycle today.  No more training wheels for this kid, thank you very much.
• I realized today that I didn't post some sort of homage to Haylee, my beloved tortoiseshell cat of 14 years.  She died in May less than a month after my miscarriage.  
• This leads me to the realization that I also haven't introduced you to Dexter, who we adopted in June.  He's a year old, tolerates Bump, and likes to sleep by my feet. 
• Bump is nearing the end of preschool and will start kindergarten in September.  This makes me sad, despite the thousands of dollars we are about to save.  If you have kids, you might understand.  If you don't, count your blessings.
• This, my first summer of teaching at Crunchyville, has also been the most productive summer, research wise.  I find this paradoxical and incredibly reassuring.
• The highlight of my week, work-wise, was learning that a senior colleague, who has published two books and is inspiringly active with her scholarship, has always taught in the summer.  
• This inspired me because I fear think I will teach for many summers to come.  The cost of living in Crunchyville is prohibitively high.
• More soon, I promise.

Haylee 1995-2011

blocked, as usual

This sums up how I feel about the book I'm supposed to be writing.

I NEED TO BE INSPIRED, YO.

office shmoffice

Last year, as many of you know, we threw down a handsome sum of money on Little Cutie to get ourselves an extra bathroom and, more than that, an office.

And by handsome, I really mean shit-load.

But here I am at a café gearing up to read for class and maybe get some scribblin' down.  At a café.  Not in my brand new office area, which would be Bump's old bedroom, but at a place about eight blocks from Little Cutie.

Why is it we sometimes prefer to write elsewhere?  Bump's not home, so theoretically it's quiet over there. But even if he were home, well that's what the office is for.

So, I ask you, what's up with this?